Alen Leit

How do we cope in situations we are not able to handle/deal with?

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The more I study personality psychology and psychotherapy, the more I understand the truth in these words.

Abuse of anything in this world is a symptom that is expressing due to unmet and frustrated needs that reside in the blind spot of our personality.

Yes, we all have inborn potential, but potential has a spectrum not a fixed expression. Just like genes, no matter what you are born with, epigenetics showed that gene expression has an on and off switch.

Through life we learn to survive in our unique circumstance, survival mechanics don’t judge is it good or bad. It judges can we keep the future predictable and stable?

We are constantly being conditioned by our surroundings to predict and anticipate the future. Though vision and goals serve an important role in practical application of our efforts, without proper guidance, supervision and therapy our mind puts everything into one space good and bad / healthy and unhealthy.

In childhood our minds were conditioned for compliance. Compliance means anything that is not in line with what our parents, relatives, teachers and society believe must be suppressed and eradicated.

There were also those that were left to learn life through everything life throws at them.

The truth is that every one of us due to a multitude of thing has a “core” desire / motivation that was frustrated (not met) from childhood. So, we searched how to satisfy that unmet desire through external means, because frankly no one taught or showed the example, how to satisfy the need from within.

All we saw are examples of how people deal with their $hit in unhealthy ways. Not knowing anything better we tested and inherited the behavior.

Most understandable example of this would be the following: How do we see people relieve stress after work or challenging situations with others?

Some drink, some smoke, some go to party till they are unconscious, some find escape in withdrawal and solitude, some return all the pressure back at the source or on people who are closest.

All of which demonstrate coping mechanisms. Coping mechanisms develop in spaces where we feel we are not able to control / handle / deal with the situation / circumstances at hand. So, we escape.

One thing that is satisfying, even though we all have our own coping mechanisms, things can change!

We can learn to understand, handle and deal with situations we are currently escaping from. All we need is support and courage to go through a learning journey ❤

I wish you just that.

If you need support, you can always reach out!

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